Florida woman marries ferris wheel

By JD

Linda Ducharme and her husband, Bruce, had a lot of ups and downs in their 30-year relationship before finally getting hitched. Now that they're together, the Florida-based couple can expect the ups and downs to continue -- because Bruce is a ferris wheel.

Ducharme first met "Bruce" -- whose real name is actually the "Skydiver" -- at a carnival in 1982 and it was love at first sight for her.

“I got this weird feeling I can’t explain. My heart was pounding as we went up the platform and got on the ride. I felt like I was being taken by this ride," she said, according to the New York Daily News.

But this wasn't Ducharme's first rodeo, er, carnival. Her previous relationships include a fly-by-night affair with an airplane and a romance with a train that eventually derailed. Her relationship with Bruce also had problems. In 1986, a storm knocked the Ferris Wheel out of commission, sending him to Wichita, Kansas, for repairs.

She eventually found his remains and is now attempting to return him to his former glory.

Somehow we live in a world where this isn’t the first time I’ve heard of someone being in a sexual relationship with an inanimate object. I hope that fact concerns you as much as it does me.

Anyway, I just want to make sure we’re all on the same page here – obviously the people who “love” something like a ferris wheel or balloons or whatever are really just avoiding the fact that no human could possibly feel romantic feelings for them, correct? Like you don’t see many hot girls with great personalities that just happen to prefer sex with carnival rides instead of men. Just saying.

So, worst case scenario:  there are no possible sexual partners left on the planet, what inanimate object would you be in a romantic relationship with? (No idea what this scenario would be, but whatever)