Alabama man attacked by pet deer, faces charges

By JD

An Alabama man was charged with illegally keeping seven deer as pets, including a buck that mauled and partially blinded him, wildlife officials said Friday.

Julius Dunsmore entered a fenced pen on his property in Marshall County in the northern part of the state and was attacked by a nine-point buck. Dunsmore said the deer lifted him up on its antlers and carried him 30 feet. One antler punctured his face and severed the optic nerve to an eye. He also suffered puncture wounds in his rib cage, hips and legs.

There may be nothing in this world I love more than people fueling stereotypes, and Julius Dunsmore is doing his best to keep Alabama redneck jokes going. 

Seriously are there any bigger assholes on the planet than the people who keep wild animals as pets? This guy deserves everything he gets. A deer? That’s gotta be one of the last things I’d even choose if I was trying to keep a wild animal as a pet in my backyard. Gimme a lion, tiger, almost anything over a deer… I guess those are probably harder to capture in Alabama, but still.

Funny thing is you know this guy isn’t even that upset because Saban’s still got Bama primed to win another National Championship. That’s all that really matters down there, and that’s how it should be. Roll Damn Tide.